What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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