dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
