Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
