don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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