Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
