She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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