She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
