So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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