and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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