keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize