i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
