Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
