I must be too annoying 4 u.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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