Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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