We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
