how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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