called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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