Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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