Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize