I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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