I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
