you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
