how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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