I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
