I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
