i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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