How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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