just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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