You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize