He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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