Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
my liver is dry heaving
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
