Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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