I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize