My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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