My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize