So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
