Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
