I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
