The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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