Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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