dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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