yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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