She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
