My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
