What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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