It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
