He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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