Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
