dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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