the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
