It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
