somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize