I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
