I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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