I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
