I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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