I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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