I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
