We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
