i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Everything about him screamed your future.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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