Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
