i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
