He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize