She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
