We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
