I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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