when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
