He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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